Hot dog! (and bun)

Okay all you Fourth-of-July goers out there enjoying your parades and barbecues and mountain getaways, here's what you missed by getting out and celebrating and not enjoying the truly American pastime of sitting in front of a television with remote in hand: The 93rd annual Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest at Coney Island airing live on ESPN. Oh, and it was a good one. In fact, for the first time in the history of the eat off, there was overtime. A five-dog eat off. Now aren't you sorry you missed it?

Lest you think I'm overstating the significance of the event, the announcers themselves called the eat off "the epicenter of patriotism" and referred to this year's contest as "the most evenly matched game in the history of the Coney Island hot dog eat off." The bevy of competitors included a man named Bertoletti who started off his career, they say, in the deep-dish pizza eating circuit and a young woman, whose name I didn't catch, who currently holds the cranberry sauce eating record of 13 pounds.

But the fans were there to see the headliners: Joey Chestnut (representing the United States) and Takeru Kobayashi (representing Japan). Chestnut won last year, though some say it was a fluke as Kobayashi, who held the record for six years and ranks as the third best competitive eater in the world, suffered from a bad jaw.

As the 10-minute eat off kicked off, the competitors attacked the dogs "like Lindsay Lohan attacking a minibar." And in the final seconds the announcers observed that perhaps Kobayashi had an edge: "He has the throat power--it's almost reptilian." (Me thinks the B-team called up to cover the eat off really wanted to dazzle with their play-by-play.)

United States vs. Japan. So who would win the coveted mustard yellow belt? At the end of regulation, Kobayashi and Chestnut were tied at 59 hot dogs. But after the five-dog eat off, Chestnut comes out the winner. And isn't it fitting on this July Fourth? God bless America!